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Nobody’s memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up, loose track of time. Here in one place then another and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment. I know that because every time I have something to write about- I end up writing about five different things and confuse not only myself but almost everyone within a five mile reading radius. 
It is never my intention however to tell seven different stories within one- I am not generous by design just by circumstance (at least I'd like to think so about myself).

It has been a year of things going wrong- feels like the gods chose this year to be the one year I achieve so much then lose almost all of it within the same year. What I did wrong, I can't exactly tell. But I keep telling myself, I could be paying for all the sins that have been put against my name from the day I got here. Hold that thought, aren't those sins supposed to have been cleared the moment I went on my knees to say, "Dear Lord, forgive me for all my trespasses....." 
Well, if my sins were forgiven and cleared, then I do not know what to chalk my losses up to. 

But, losses and all, the year still is coming to an end and I am not sure if I am ready for the whole start over thing. The resolution making, swearing and promising- then less than a month later, fall back to the familiar pattern. Go back to that abusive friend, forget to say bedtime prayers, drop the morning exercise routine, fall back into un-healthy eating and on the list goes. 

In short, I hate the hullabaloo that comes with new year, new month, new job, new things... apart from the excitement of new baby. Thinking new babies, (insert short prayer for all laboring mothers) I believe I have found a cure for my baby crave. I pray and hope it will work. (no, I didn't pray but it feels like the right thing to say). As soon as I can sit up long enough to finish this other plan- I believe I will well be on my way to baby crave cure. 

Cheers to baby crave cure.

Goodbye to the old me- Imperfect progress

July 1, 2013.
That's right.... New month is here. Not just new month but a whole half year is gone by.
Full of drama, heartaches and all one would think the clocks would stop and give one a chance to correct mistakes but nope.... Time waits for no one.
Tick went the clock.
This month i turn a year older.. Second time am mentioning it in three days. It must be bigger than am willing to admit.
My birrhday is supposed to be the day i start over....laughable
However, i will make an effort to read my bible and grow everyday. I know i'll miss a few days but hey am human (weak).
Imperfect progress is my July theme.
Everyday for the next 30 days, i will do somerhing different.
Random different things... I wont list them. I don't know them... I want to surprise me.
Anyone waiting for me to please them might have a long time in the queue.. Infact they shd ger themselves some readinf material. I recommend This or This one or Here and My All Time Favorite.

So, with lovely skies, new days and new beginnings.

Morning Drive to work

sun making her way to the world

I know this new year, I will do my best to make wiser decisions. Not just about me but about everyone who looks up to me.
Get out of the web of those who want to change me to their need but are not willing to take me as i am.

Yes, I do a lot of pleasing everyone around me. Bend backwards for them. Meanwhile they never make a move towards me. I always have to move towards them. Always giving.

all unhealthy relationships ended with the Close of June.

Oh, well, let's get to work. I've written this post for two days... (hihihihihih)

Cheers.

Litro Child..

This Litro boy trying out new things..
new foods
new sounds..

testing out smiles.
I love your smile son.
I love it.
I love your toothless smile. No teeth, and lots of drool...

Micah, you have brought the sun back.
Put that spring in my step.

By the way, I've been complimented on my walking...once again.
Hadn't heard that in a long long time.
And oh, yeah, Did i tell you your sisters are smitten.

Wait when Christa comes home. You will fall in love with her before she does you.
And I know she'll love you back just as much. If not more.
Micah Micah Micah,
You already know the color of your plate.
You know the color of the Potty- Grandma can't stop talking about it.

she's so proud of you...so am I.
Your father would be proud of you too. am sure of that. He would be.

getting off here so, that we can love some more...make memories.

Loving you Son. <3