No Title

January 22, 2013.
I so feel like writing, and am not even sure what to write about.
funny thing is every day on my way home, i look into people's eyes and promise myself to write and make plans to make someone's life better.

Thing is there is so much pain. so much uncertainty everywhere i look.
What i don't understand is who will ever answer the questions.

Let me start with the questions in my babies' eyes every morning.
single mum that i am, when i leave in the morning, they have this ever present question
"will you come back?"
Breaks my heart.
Every time.
That makes me scared to hell of what will happen if i don't come back.
If am not able to come back to them, ever again.
How would life be?
I know, they'd somehow adapt to the new situation but, do i want them to.
Then again, do i have a choice?

Then I find smartly dressed people waiting for commuter taxis at the bus stop..

That is another story, usually covers up the ones i left at my house.

Take for instance this Boda boda rider, he's always at the stage by 6 a.m! every morning.
He's got 4 children, the youngest being 6 years.
They need school fees.

The lady bargaining with the taxi conductor to reduce the taxi fare by 200shs!

Then comes the evenings. With all the makeup wiped off. No time or need to touch up.
Man!!!

that's where my creative juices glum up.
There is too much running in my mind i can't write all of it on paper.

i need an edema..

LESSONS BEING LEARNED

This Young Little Child of Mine. Altaira Namuyimba....
Born on the 6th of June, 2009 at 18:30 hrs. Beautiful Saturday afternoon.
Life Changing Saturday.

You were so little. Remember being picked up by your Aunts,
so pretty..My little child.

From day one, you wore a serious expression. Kinda like you were thinking hard
Contemplating what to do next, or how you were gonna fix me.

You have not stopped trying to fix me.
3 years, 7 months old now, and you are still trying to fix all around you.

When I look in your eyes, i see so many questions. some of which you have voiced.
Others, am still waiting on you to voice them.

My Love, Mummy will try her level best to answer each one of them questions.

Its not your job to fix me darling. Am not broken. I love you.

I love you in a way i never thought it possible to love anyone in my life before.

Not sure what i would do, or how i would live if i came home and that shrill sound was not there to greet me.
My little busy body, always wanting to put away things.

you've always loved bags, ever since i can remember when.

This my Daughter, this here is my forever pledge to you.....

I'll never let you go. I'll never replace you.

YOU ARE MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY JOY.

Your sisters look up to you. Yes both of them do. Your brother already feels you are his everything.

Altaira....(Taiiwa)....you are the glue.

You are teaching me what loving and parenting is all about.

Yes Ma'am, we'll keep praying and all our prayers will be answered.

Mummy loves you.