2014-the rundown (1)

The year is nearly over.. And yes, I am going with the flow. Getting all sentimental and making all those wishes which I am very sure I will break before December 31 comes by. But oh well, the emotions are just right for this kind of thing.
Emotions? Yes, it's that time of the month where my hormones send me on an emotional seesaw. Am torn between staying happy or angry at everything that is failing to go right.
It would not be so hard on me if the cramps were less painful. But, I have to contend with these excruciating abdominal cramps and a mood that just won't make up it's mind. Another thing that is not helping is all my 'special' friends seem to have given up on me. I have to be strong for me today. I know I have to-let me see if reminiscing about the year will make my mood lighter.

I remember this season with half a smile. Okay, the other half of the smile is on the inside. It was a nice time for me. Carefree to say the least. I lived like there was nothing in the world holding me back. Looking back at that period, I am inclined to think I was smoking some strange tobacco or other.

No Title

Nobody’s memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up, loose track of time. Here in one place then another and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment. I know that because every time I have something to write about- I end up writing about five different things and confuse not only myself but almost everyone within a five mile reading radius. 
It is never my intention however to tell seven different stories within one- I am not generous by design just by circumstance (at least I'd like to think so about myself).

It has been a year of things going wrong- feels like the gods chose this year to be the one year I achieve so much then lose almost all of it within the same year. What I did wrong, I can't exactly tell. But I keep telling myself, I could be paying for all the sins that have been put against my name from the day I got here. Hold that thought, aren't those sins supposed to have been cleared the moment I went on my knees to say, "Dear Lord, forgive me for all my trespasses....." 
Well, if my sins were forgiven and cleared, then I do not know what to chalk my losses up to. 

But, losses and all, the year still is coming to an end and I am not sure if I am ready for the whole start over thing. The resolution making, swearing and promising- then less than a month later, fall back to the familiar pattern. Go back to that abusive friend, forget to say bedtime prayers, drop the morning exercise routine, fall back into un-healthy eating and on the list goes. 

In short, I hate the hullabaloo that comes with new year, new month, new job, new things... apart from the excitement of new baby. Thinking new babies, (insert short prayer for all laboring mothers) I believe I have found a cure for my baby crave. I pray and hope it will work. (no, I didn't pray but it feels like the right thing to say). As soon as I can sit up long enough to finish this other plan- I believe I will well be on my way to baby crave cure. 

Cheers to baby crave cure.

When one door closes........(The Power of Right now)

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. This principle, called conservation of energy, is one of our most cherished laws of physics. It governs every part of our lives: the heat it takes to warm up a cup of coffee; the chemical reactions that produce oxygen in the leaves of trees; the orbit of Earth around the sun; the food we need to keep our hearts beating. We cannot live without eating, cars do not run without fuel, and perpetual-motion machines are just a mirage. So when an experiment seems to violate the law of energy conservation, we are rightfully suspicious. What happens when our observations seem to contradict one of science’s most deeply held notions: that energy is always conserved?

This is bound to become another draft that sits on my list until I tap delete. I started out yesterday with a lot of inspiration and had all these words and ideas flowing. But just as I maximized my page to write, the phone rung and School needed me thirty minutes before they called. My little one was burning up. Attempts at wiping her down were proving futile as each rag dried within seconds of it being placed on her body.

So I run, and with it my motivation. With it, my apology to a person with whom i've been at loggerheads for weeks. With it- my smile for the day, yesterday.
Today is here and am grateful for it. I thank the Lord God Almighty for it- I will rejoice and be glad indeed.

And I will post this as is. No more drafts on my list. It's a process. One day, I will hit perfection.

Cheers

Now I know

Once when I was sixteen years of age, I landed on a cassette with Miriam Makeba's music. Didn't know what that album was but I sang along to 17 of the 18 songs on that cassette like my life depended on it. My Grand parents had no option but to love the music on it- Yes, they'd bought it on one of their trips to South Africa but had never really "felt" the music.

Years later, am sitting at my desk, listening to the same music and wishing I would feel sixteen again. The Album is called Folk Songs from Africa. Beautiful music, but the again when did she ever disappoint?

At sixteen, I honestly didn't what I wanted from Life. I lived for the day. Well, most times, I lived for the next book my Grandpa had found me or the next song that was trending on the airwaves.

I didn't know why girls in my class were so wound up about who was seen talking to "their boy". I didn't know why so much fuss was created about a baby being born to the family. I didn't know why my guardians were sometimes hard on us. Why they sometimes came home with long faces.... I didn't know.

Then one day am not sixteen anymore but eighteen and our small living room is filled with people. Strange faces, save for my Grandma's face. She answered my questioning expression with "He was her friend".

He was her friend.

That was the way I was told that my Grandpa had passed on to the next life. With him had gone all my naughtiness. That marked the end of my waking up to a new book and another song on the radio. Or a new recipe that wasn't really new but oh well, we tried cooking tomatoes before adding onions and oil. With my friend. So, I grew up and learned how to account for some of my mistakes -my way. But my friend left before he had taught me about heartbreaks, sleepless nights and boys.

I still don't know much about those three things but I know a bit about smiling. I know how to smile with my face and not my heart. I know about Friends who will stick with you no matter what they are going through.
I know about Friends who will go hungry on your behalf. I know about Friends who will uphold your honor at the expense of their own. I know about Friends who wish for others to smile with their hearts.

Oh, I've also learned a thing or two about forgiveness. I know that we don't forgive so that the person who wronged us feels better but that we feel better. To this day, hatred is something that I find hard to latch onto. Anger has a way of holding our productivity and peace ransom. A ransom that is so hefty it could cost one their life. So, I learned to let things go. Been called a fool for letting people walk all over my heart and life, letting people take me for granted but there is peace in letting things go. A peace that I can equate to the best sunrise you have ever seen. A peace that is calmer than that silence that comes after a terrible storm. Forgiving and letting go is for one's self good and not the other party. So I also learned how to forgive.

Just as I learned how to forgive, I also learned how to give. I give because am given. I also give because I give. Because I've been in need before, need that left me wondering if life was worth going through anymore. Not that am not in need anymore, am sure that person whose message box is full of "Mpayo omutwalo" (Give me ten thousand shillings) knows about my needs. But I've been in worse situations and when I was there, I received. So I give. Whenever I have, whenever I can. Whenever.

Alright, can't find a perfect sign off. am I supposed to sign off?

cheers.

AM tired Mama, am tired.

My 21 days' journey is coming to an end in less than 24 hours!!! Hooray!
I've learnt a lot or rather re-learned quite some.
That is not why I find myself exhausted though.
Mama, I will not whine about what you never told me regarding adulthood.

See, it has been more than a fortnight of me not writing anything. It's not that I've been in limbo, no. I have lived through many moments I would have loved to share with you here but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe Mama, i've been choking on the very air that has been keeping me going. #Sigh

There are all these expectations around me that make me want to escape to a not known place. Don't get me wrong, am not complaining about motherhood. That is just about the only fulfilling responsibility in my stance right now.
But, I've made the acquaintance of people. Some good. Really good people who have put me as priority in my time of need.

Others came to my space to use me a sample for whatever relational experimental projects they had running in their lives. Take for instance a couple of friends who at one time nick named me "The Communicator". What hurts most is I thought these two were the best thing that had come my way since I became a mother. The chemistry was right. I put them somewhere up there close to my own blood relations. I loved these two in the only way I knew how. Confided in them at the slightest provocation. I didn't know what holding back was when it came to these two.
But, in all that giving, I didn't stop to think or see that I was simply a pawn. Being pushed around for their own miscommunication or creation for pillow talk. When I stop to think about the times I should have seen what was going on, I wish I could kick myself over and over again. I am ashamed of myself for being so gullible.
Both were so clever, they always noticed when I was slipping away and would then feed me a few morsels off their table which kept me around some more. Like a dog, I kept to this Triangle. Until, I couldn't. It shattered me. The day it finally hit that I was just a pawn. That day. It shattered me.

Well, it will be a while before I recover from that abuse but wherever these two are, I pray they don't use another. I pray they find a way of being human.

Mama, and then there is an annoying crop of parent, that believes Children will be raised through an email. How do I tell them that my email parenting application crashed? How do I say, that the last email attachment I received has flourished into a nice little handsome two year old boy who stops to ask me why am crying. And he will say Sorry Mummy even though I haven't given him an answer. How do I tell them, these previously email attachments have turned into real people with emotions? How do I say, "my email does not work anymore"?

Furthermore, Mama, there are those other people who think am either a clown or their gateway to entertainment. There are these Social Media networks and am sad to say that I've been held ransom by my followers.
They will come accusing me of a "wrong comment" i wrote somewhere! Or whatever! Thing is, thought I had a right to write what I want to. Oh! There is a particular one who thinks am plastic on social media and should just quit it all together. Atti, everything I do is for show. The charity runs I engage in are for some sort of showing off or gloating or something! It saddens me that the one person who claims to have your back is the same one who will not hesitate to move a knife through your smiling heart.

Mother, I don't know. I wish I could get on the road and drive around for days on end. Stopping to eat, pee and bathe. I've stocked up on music I would listen to on my journey. Got me some Norman Brown, Dave Koz, Elvis Presley, Evanscence (sp), Micheal Bublè, Michael Kitanda, some Charmant. Lots of Bachata, Meringue and Salsa tunes. Am sure if I could drive around, I would forget some of these things. But I can't drive around just yet. However, we'll keep dancing in our little house with my little people.
Little people who believe Mummy is Mummy. Mummy is not showing off. Mummy punishes them when they are wrong and that does not make them want to leave home for boarding school.

I will stay with my little humans.

I hope all is good in that world you live in now. One day, we might just meet up.

Shea Butter and Memories~Grateful

Timecheck: 04:06hrs. Even the frogs are quiet. An occasional vehicle sound is heard every few minutes-no hoots just a moving vehicle. I've been awake for an hour or so yet I slept slightly after midnight. Eh! This should not turn into a habit! No, it shouldn't.

Today is day 2 of 21 days of Me. But it's not over yet and I therefore don't want to talk about it~that would be premature.

Last evening however, I got home to a house full of needs and aches, it hurt.
Meet Didi, my 24 year old Autistic Cousin. His is a severe case of Autism we actually have to give him his bath and most times it takes him 2 hours or more to walk from the Dining table to the bathroom which is about 10 (ten) baby steps away. He is Special to me. Very special.
So, I came home to find Didi sweating 3 steps away from the bathroom door and my househelp seemed overwhelmed. I had to take over but not before she told me the water guys had been here and there was no water running from the taps anymore!! God! I'd payed my bills just earlier that morning! In my stupor, i walked to a light switch and flipped it just to be sure it was not a candle providing light! Well, called the water people and was assured it was a general supply problem which would be resolved by day break. Okay.

Back to cajoling Didi into getting into the bathroom.
Meet Micah, he is currently the Youngest Youngling in the house. When I left in the morning, he was a bit warm. When I came back, there was a mini box full of little medicine bottles! Arrrrrrgh! So, here I am asking Didi to make a step, checking out medicines, asking about dosages administered, hearing about the events at school from the two girls that you have not yet met, dying to pee and needing to rush to Micah's bed...oh! "have tommorrow's uniforms been laid out yet?"
Eventually, everything fell in place. Everyone went to bed. All bathed and fed and their stories heard and medicines administered and my feet aching and I have not yet Pee'd!!!!! Wait, I thought it would be all about working on paying the bills! Now, I even have to hold off going to the loo for hours on end! Eh! #sigh

Fast forward to a quiet house and my bathroom. Yes! Bathroom. If I could, I would stay in my bathroom longer. There is a fragrance that sends me to a time that saw me fall in love with Shea Butter. There was this one time I went visiting and my host had a whole array of Forever Sunshine bathroom things. I fell in love with the Shea Butter. I swear it was love at first inhale. I remember my host coming to check on me every so often because I was not leaving the bathroom! Ah! That whole visit was magical just! I look back at it and wish we could do it over and over again!
The whole night and next day was bliss personified.

I want to find this in Kampala

So, when I came back home from my blissful visit, I set out on finding those products but couldn't find them anywhere. (meanwhile, if you know where I can find Forever Sunshine products in Kampala, please let me know).
Well, I opted for something close and affordable- Baby Ballet~Shea Butter. Last night, I pulled out my last tablet of it (need to re-stock) and boy did I love my bathroom time of what!
So, here I am, my alarm clock is set to go off in a few minutes, am starting to feel sleepy but I know that if I did that, then the whole morning would be ruined. Do not want to rush through it and I promised myself to have breakfast today. I refuse to go through another day on just half a biscuit and two hard boiled sweets! That I refuse.
Today, there is another meeting at my place of work. #Sigh
There is that call to the Grand Mothers, have to read up on some materials regarding adoption...
They are awake!!! Even before the alarm clock goes off!!! Oh boy!

Good morning.

Dear God, hold my hand today. Today is the day You have made. Let me rejoice and be glad in it. Give me the grace to accept the Things I can not change.
Thank you Father for your never ending mercies that are new to me Every morning. Lord, Reach Your Mighty healing Hand to everyone who has a pain/ache and/or disease. Father, heal the broken hearts as only You know how. Be the solace for the homeless, be the comfort for the hopeless. Give us Grace to accept your Grace.
Lord, May your will be done today. In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen

21 days of Me.

Today started me on a twenty one day journey where I will be the Head of a household and an entire family. No, not today- Flag off was Yesterday evening but First day on the job was today.<< scratch that

Take Two: This morning, Reality finally hit home that for the next 21 days I will have children, grand children, aunts and uncles- neighbors too on my case. "But you have always done this Momo"
Yes, I have. But not to this level, a few things were conveniently not mine to think about. I had mastered the art of looking the other way when some of the above mentioned members surfaced.

"So, what happened? How come you are in the driving seat now?" 
Well, my Partner in Action has gone a-mothering. And now, I am here. It has been three years since I slept in a house where I was the only adult.

Last evening, I flagged her off and for the first time in very many years I saw a Woman who needed me. A Woman who seeks love just like she gives it. I wished she were going away on holiday. I wished and wished because when all is said and done, she needs a holiday this Partner of mine.
am talking about my Back Up, My Dad, my Mother, Grand mother to my children, Landlord and new found friend- My Aunt. I've been so caught up in my own drama I forgot to love her.
With all that sentimentalism floating around in my heart, I was sure I would handle this.

Sya! all I have to do is place a call to the Jajja's every so often. Yell at the kids and threaten them with no cake when Jajja comes back, Get Didi out of bed for his morning bath, threaten the maid and all would be done. 

Ha Ha Ha

That was last night. This morning however, it was a different story. First thought that crossed my mind was the Utility bills I'd put off paying until next month! Then it hit me that in the event these guys came round before next month did, we would be disconnected as there would be no one to place that emergency call! Out came the phone and Glory glory, Mobile money was working! Boof! there went the Ka contribution towards getting my passport back!

By the Time 6 a.m came by, I was mentally tired.

Children were ready for school, Didi was bathed, Micah had gotten his medicine and instructions had been issued, Other babies were bathed, dressed and put back to bed. Dinner was planned.
More instructions issued out. 6:50 a.m! and I was not yet dressed. #sigh
Well, I got ready for work by 7:00 A.m and managed half a biscuit- Handed the other half to Didi!
Wait, it's 17:30 and all I've had today was that half biscuit!!

All in all, the day has been today. It's gone by. It's a wonder I managed to the best presentation at an office meeting this afternoon. When all I was thinking about was my other little girl who is out of school yet her exam is in a month's time.
And oh! I still think about adopting another child. Yes, I am going to have another baby.
Overwhelmed! Yes I am, but I have space for one more. Even many more.

Day two will be a bit better. I hope it is better.
As I head home, I think about the un-done, un-resolved emotionally draining relationships that still hang in balance. And that call to the Jajjas.

But, if we live through tonight, we'll do this again tomorrow.
Goodnight Mauryn.

PS: When was the last time you did something for someone else? 
When was the last time you went out of your way to make another's life easier? 
When did you last donate blood? When did you last share your meal? 

Things Changed Mama~Catchup

Dear Mama, it's rather awkward opening this letter to you. See, I would like to say "I hope you are doing well" but then that does not sound right at all. It's been many years now. However, I will tell you that I am okay.

Last evening I passed by what used to be your work place. I remember the day you took me to have my tooth extracted then you bought me Schweppes- just like it happened yesterday. That was the only day I came by your workplace. Well, the building is still standing but Coffee Marketing Board is no longer in existence. We have been running after your retirement benefits for a long time now but there seems to be nothing coming through. However, still we push on.

Meanwhile, since you've been gone, so much has changed. If you were to come back right now, believe me you'd need a tour guide and strength to read through so many manuals.

Not so long ago, a man murdered his girlfriend in cold blood. Imagine this, she was in a 1.5m by 1.5m or thereabouts sized bathroom and he thought she was an intruder. So, first thing, before calling Police or screaming for the neighbors, he picked up his gun, wore his legs and fired four bullets through the door!! FOUR BULLETS!! Wasn't that a bit too much? However, a female judge failed to find him guilty of murder! Imagine that. He got a way with a simple massage on the wrists... Verdict was- not guilty of murder on all counts. Guilty of culpable homicide.

I was quite too anguished to ask #Google what culpable homicide was. so, I let it at that. The Law that delivered that verdict was kind of saying that it is okay for one to kill another and get away with it.

Now, I know I got away with a few things where you were concerned. You left when I was only but a child but a few memories are still loud inside my head. I remember the one room we shared a year before we separated. As of 2013, it was still standing by the way. I remember you favoring me when it came to time for meting out punishments. I remember quite some.

When you left, I was angry at you for leaving me. Seeing as we had un-finished business. I had so many questions to ask. So many questions about growing up. About my paternal heritage- the answers everyone else gave me were not satisfactory so, I still had questions to ask.

Years on, my stand has changed. I can actually hear many of the answers to the questions I wanted to ask. Life is giving me answers. I look back at our short-lived time together and I wish I could say sorry. Wish we could have tea sometime.

Meanwhile, you would be proud of your grand children. Believe you me you would. Currently, there is a whole six of them!! Six Grandchildren. Two smart little boys and Four lovely Young Girls.

Alright Mama, a small gadget called a Mobile phone was introduced. I hadn't heard of it by the time you left, and am sure if it were there, you could have had it. This mobile phone keeps evolving and recently evolved into something called #IPhone6. Ha!!! The cost alone makes me draw up a shopping list that would send my little ones to kid heaven and back time and again.
I will not say I want to afford it. No, I will not work towards buying an Iphone, but will wish the holders of it well.
I however wonder if when 'Flight mode' of #Iphone6 is activated the owner can actually get on a plane to a location of their desire!! I wonder.

Also, TV is not as boring as it used to be. No, it was not boring back then but still fades in comparison to today's TV. You know, when am unhappy- read going through an emotional phase (read that estrogen phase before the messes).. and I don't want to take it out on my loved ones- I watch TV. For this month's phase, I watched Jack Bauer. He's always a tough cookie but the last scenes of the final episode of Live another Day, made me cry. Now, I had never had an emotional breakdown while watching Jack but this time round I did.

It must be the hormonal overload doing that to me. So, when 24, Live another day was done, and the emotions were still raging, I made a phone call. One I believe I will regret for a long time.

Will tell you about how the Relationships landscape has changed since you have been gone. That will be for later. As of now, I have another phone call  I want to make. Will also tell you about that one next time.




Till then Mama,

Mauryn

Sleep Sleep Go away

Ever been somewhere and all you can think about is Sleep? Good old, mind consuming, snore (and others) inducing sleep? Well, happened to me today.

Normally, afternoons are not exactly my most productive parts of my day but they are most alert times of the day (Something sounds grammatically wrong with this line).. But yeah, by 14:00 hours am as alert as a mother hen who has sensed a kite flying around her little ones. However, today was just wrong. Nothing worked out the way it usually does- So, I slept. I sleep talked, sleep thought, sleep went to the bathroom and everything sleep.

This is how it started out. A boss chose today to be the day he lays off one of his employees! Today of all days. Okay, that was my problem but there was nothing I could do about it. So, powerless as I was, I chose to go find food.
Yes, I stress eat. With every morsel of food down my throat, I kind of forget about the issue at hand. Be it a heartbreak, job loss, sick child- or someone taking me for granted... I eat it all away. Do I love my food or do I love my food.

So, off to food hunting I went. Found an eatery that didn't look so bad and ate all I could eat for Uganda Shillings Three Thousand. Approximately one dollar and a few cents! Cleared my plate and if time could have indulged me, I might have gone for a second plate. Yes, things are that bad. Maybe, it's more than a friend losing their job, maybe deep down there is something else eating me up. I know there is something else eating me up beyond today's occurrence. But I hope a few more pounds from today, I will have walked away from whatever is bothering me.

After that meal, I made my way humbly and very quietly back to my workstation. And then All sleep hell broke loose!! Aiya!! Tried watching a Jack Bauer episode but wa!!! Walked out of the office room, sat somewhere at the veranda and not even the sounds of a random village woman thumping a little child could keep me awake. In fact, I thought I was dreaming the sounds!! Woman kept telling the young girl she would beat them while she was actually beating her up. In my sleep, I could feel the punches like as if they were on me. But still I slept!

Walked back to my work desk and still slept. Tried out Social media-eh!!!

So, here I am. Telling you about my sleepy afternoon. With twenty seven minutes to head home, i still want to sleep.

Sleep sleep go away, come again in few hours- When the whole world has gone to sleep.

Cheers my friends.

Sleepy Mo.

Memory Dump!

New month is upon us, I believe all time zones should have congregated to the new month of September by now. Well, if anybody hasn't yet, they soon will. It's Day two already!

This morning, I woke up with a determination to do something different. Leave my bed without the alarm going off twice, get to work on time, and everything else that I failed to do last month.
Well, I tried my best. I got to work five minutes before the official clock-in.... #Drums

So, it is a new month, huh? New things should be coming in leaps, right? Right. aah! Did I hear a "Happy new month?" Nah, not yet. But I did hear about a break up. Yes!! A couple did break up this morning. But then again, who does that? Who breaks up at the start of a month? Especially since School is just starting and the weather is so wrong for a single lifer. How will the bills get paid? Who really does break up with their lover just like that? With a reason as fickle as she forgot to wish his Mother a Happy Birthday!!!  Arrrrgh!!!

Well, if you've managed to stay with me this far, you'll notice that my system seems to be crushing. My Tech Friends have a phrase "Memory Dump"

Memory dump primarily identifies a problem or error within the operating system or any installed application within the system. Typically, memory dump provides information about the last state of the programs, applications and system before they were terminated or crashed. This information consists of memory locations, program counters, program state and other related details. It is displayed on-screen and also creates a system log file for viewing/referencing later. After memory dump, the computer is generally unavailable or inaccessible until it’s rebooted. Memory dump can also be caused by memory leak, when the system is out of memory and can no longer continue its operations.

 Sad to day but I am kind of experiencing a dump. No, no no. Not that other one, but the one similar to the above excerpt. The month of August came and went without a single post from me not that my fingers were gone but my mind was unavailable. It had been dumped.

But a few things happened. A few nice things that make me smile when I think about them.
Month started out quite well, I have a ten day holiday!!! and oh, that was the start of my stagnation.

Just as I was planning an all crazy night out (think drinking binge) catastrophe came hurtling. But with the bad news came a great trip to nowhere.

Drove to a land far away. A very beautiful land I may add.

Still within the same August, schools chose to close and that meant longer hours playing everything a mother can be under the sun.

August still, came with a realization that i was as human as the next person or as the last person who was buried a few minutes ago. I am here just for a while and very soon, I will also be gone. Written off. And I will have R.I.P as the an addition to my name.

August, Oh August... family trials not withstanding, it came to an end.

so many months have come and go but August is one month I will not miss. I do not think I will for a moment sit back and say.. "Oh, that was a good month" . No, August 2014, was a wrong month.

If I could, I would have slept my way through it. I Would have hit the fast forward button all the way to September 19, 2014- When my son turns two, sleep again and wake up at Christmas.

Christmas. I love Christmas, and when am done dumping my mind all over this post, I will go back and dream about Christmas.

But for now, I will go back to making calls to my Middle East Clients... maybe just maybe, I'll be on an airbus to one Middle East Destination soon.

You Stole from me

Dear Friend,
I do not hope you are doing well at all. I am not usually a hateful person but something about the memory of you brings out all the hate in me.
See, you and I were close. You knew my dinner plans two days ahead. You reminded me to burp my little one after a feed, you reminded me to check on the cake baking in the oven. You were with me.
Physically apart we were but the thousands of miles and difference in time zones didnot matter. In an era where whatsapp messenger, viber and all the messenger clan members were not yet born..we managed to keep in touch every minute of everyday.
In you I found a friend, confidante and everyone warm and fluffy. Not even the man with whom I shared my bed, body and baby could elicit a smile as wide as the one that flashed whenever my phone vibrated.
#Sigh
You were my sister, brother, best friend and my Me.
So, the day you called to tell me you'd be in town for a three day training was no doubt a happy one for me. I knew we were not going to paint each other's nails or try out each other's petticoats but I had envisaged a fruitful meeting. One where we'd talk personal development. Maybe you telling me about The girl in your life, the one with whom you'd been having problems.
I prepared the evening meal at mine in haste so as to be at your hotel in time for us to catch up and me to get back home before my housemates came home. I carried my little one and off to Your Plush hotel room we trudged.
Little did I know that you had "other plans" for me.
Other plans
Plans that saw my daughter cry herself coarse while you forced yourself on me. I asked you to stop but I doubt you heard my plea. Maybe you did but didnt care.
Tell me, did you feel a better man? Better than the one who was taking me for granted back at my house? All the time you and I had been talking, you seemed to be an understanding person. You understood why I hang in there even when my partner got physically abusive.
But that day, your understanding all disappeared in a haze. I hurt but I could not cry. My baby was crying for her and I. I prayed for her to keep quiet. I prayed that you'd climax and get off me. I prayed that that Thursday would be erased from memory.
When you were done, you apologised, gave me money and left us in your hotel room.
You stole from me.
You stole my belief that no one has sex with another person if they are not in any sort of relationship.
You stole my special box where i kept my values for sex, love and marriage.
You took away my belief in Happily ever afters.
You robbed me of my will to forgive. You turned me against me. You Robbed me.
I took that money home, told my partner- my bad partner about what had happened.
He wept.
We wept.
I still weep. And I hope you are not doing well. Because you stole my goodwill.
Don't be fooled by the happy stories you hear about me, I don't know what happy is. I want to forgive you but that would mean forgiving myself. And I blame myself for trusting you.
My partner forgave me and maybe even forgave you. But I haven't.
You robbed me of my happy little girl. The one I had bubbling inside me.
I hope you are not well.

Are You The Right Person?

Many a time we set standards in almost all areas of our lives. Standard Setting is very advisable.

Standard setting is the methodology used to define levels of achievement or proficiency and the cut-scores corresponding to those levels. A cut-score is simply the score that serves to classify the candidates whose score is below the cut-score into one level and the candidates whose score is at or above the cut-score into the next and higher level. Clearly, unless the cut-scores are appropriately set, the results of the assessment could come into question. For that reason, standard setting is a critical component of the test development process.

 Take that up there and apply to day to day situations. We set standards for our friends, acquaintances. We selectively decide on who we allow on our friends' lists, even which relatives we visit or grow close to. (yes, there is such a thing as relatives we are not close to and others we don't like at all.)
Thing is, we expect people to level up and live up to the standards we have set. I'd like to think many a person asks themselves a question before they say yes to a friend request.. something like "are they the right person for the job?" Of course there is criterion that we all follow..but have you ever stopped and asked yourself if you are the right person for the job.
Instead of asking, if She is the right person for the job, ask yourself "Am I the right person for the job?"

I am running a fictitious story line about Siko, my Maid. Having a house help is one of the basic form of employer-employee setting. And maybe in my former life I was a worker bee, a house-help or simply someone who was in love with the so called lost causes but I get so unhappy when I see someone being punished or judged for their apparent shortcomings.

Alright, I'll take it a step higher, if someone on the team let's say accounting team does not know how to use a particular software- mark you- one of the latest- he is deemed incompetent. Before you do that, have you tried teaching them? Have you thought about the fact that this particular software was not on the market when they were in school? Or better still, can You, yes You Mr/Miss Judge your friends, can you use it? Or have you just heard about it?

Many times, we are inconsiderate to our employees or prospective employees, friends and other would have been additions to our lives.
Much as I am here advocating for the "Am I the right person for the Job?" phenomenon, I have many a time succumbed to that all human trait of judging others before I get to know them...

So, this my new year which kicked off today, will see me ask myself that question before I judge. However... perverts, porn vendors, outright stalkers, ex-lovers who create fake accounts and all those who assume that I am a nice person so they will take advantage of me- will remain under the judge them and cut them off before you give them a chance regime.

You could do the same thing, next time, you are about to yell at your house-help or your casual laborer, ask yourself that one question. Ask yourself if you have done everything to make this person better at their job. And besides, if this person was not there, would you do their job? Can you wake up at 5 a.m, get 5 children ready for school, get a husband and his wife ready for work, clean their house, do their laundry, make them dinner, go to bed at 1 a.m only to repeat the cycle at 5 a.m? Would you do that, Dear Woman who is claiming maids are bad people?

Do you ever take time to appreciate your casual laborer? Or do you just expect them to deliver all the time without any sort of appreciation or acknowledgement? Because many a human soul thrives on appreciation. Acknowledgement. We are vain like that. Many of us are.

So, that is if folks....but

Are you the right person for the job? Are you the Right friend? are you the Right lover? Are you the Right one?

Until then, thank you for all the birthday love i received today.

Truly,
Village Girl

Breaking out? Breaking Bad?...Breaking

“We are what we repeatedly do.” ~Aristotle

That holds so true. I have become so routine I can go through my day in my sleep. As in, I will wake up uh-hm freshen the kids and I, get breakfast done and served and on.. (you get the drill) And I can do this with a blindfold.
That is just so wrong- It's a small wonder I've not yet grown mold. What with the stagnancy and all.
I officially add another year to my collection in a couple of days. And I got thinking.. you know how one goes down that melancholy road when the year is coming to an end? You get all serious, sentimental and everything bright and futuristic. Well, yes, I am at that place. Reviewed my life as was, is and how I want it to be.

Life has been good to me. Really good. It has placed friends in my life. People I would not replace even though I had all artillery from the Gaza strip pointing at me. People like +Onadit (hey man, sorry but I just can't get over your selflessness). I got quite a list of them great people walking around in my heart, or rather they have me playing resident in their hearts and they've never charged me rent and aren't about to. Well, MOK if you think of asking for rent, Bambi I will report you to that footballer guy and ask him to take his name back. :D

In its goodness however, I have created and thereby settled in some zones. Zones that make life so predictable- so routine and almost so boring. I know routines sometimes breed security. I know that.
However, last night, on impulse I went to a show where my Little Sister was singing and her friends were showcasing their fashion lines. So, I got there, sat down and settled with my phone at a table and chatted away with friends on the phone.. very anti-social right? I had people all around me but I kept talking to people through this small item in hand.

Until my sister walked back to me and introduced herself and I to all the people around us and even the ones on the next table!! You should have seen me! I wanted to die..OK, maybe not die but kind of disappear!
But I lived through it. Managed to make small talk.

Then I shared my experience with 'my chat buddy' and they were like.. true! you should break the routine. Do something different for your new year... This is what they said:

"i don't care if u walk naked steal a car or something like that just break the cycle"

Extreme? huh? Yep. But it got my adrenaline up and doing things.. oh well, in my mind at least. Because when life-time Crush Maurice Kirya

This Guy..hm!

 When that Maurice guy came on stage all I could do was lift my small phone and manage a few shots. Even when my bubbly companion managed to get a pass backstage (OK- she had a pass since she'd performed) and asked me to tag along for a selfie...or something..anything that would lay my life-long crush to rest... I simply cowed further down in my seat!! So much for breaking free!!!! One day though, I will do something crazy. something out of routine.
Got a few thoughts.. and will do them. Give me some ideas of what I could do different. Anything you'd like to see someone else try out for you- apart from committing suicide... Because Suicide hates me.

And then, this morning routine breaks out again. Start the day normally, go through the usual, Mummy can i have more toothpaste and all and then I check my Facebook news-feed. It was a random itch that sent me checking Facebook.

On it was this Chilling  report of Juliana's Son's Demise. No mother...no parent and absolutely no one (apart from the warlords- but those are not people.. they don't count as people in my world)... No one would want to place their little one in a little coffin. When they are oh so little.
And then again, I ask myself why? Why now? Why does this happen? Why do we fall in love only to lose it? I can not begin to imagine what she is going through right now..but I can't help the tears that keep rolling every time I imagine the little coffins floating all over our land.

My prayer this day today, is for every parent, family member and every one who has lost a family member to find strength in the promise that they've gone to a better life. That they are free from the pains and limitations of the physical body. That they have found peace. and that One Day, someday, when we too leave this ugly world, we'll be re-united. 

 May their Little Souls Rest in Peace.

So, my birthday is still on in a couple of days.I have no plans for that day. Might not even make that order for the once a year cake indulgence. All in the spirit of breaking routine. I will not do cake for me this year..come to think of it, no more birthday cakes at my house- We are breaking routine.. (did i get it wrong?)

And no resolutions either. Life is perfect as is. A few ripples here and there. I will not be here longer. Because I ain't growing any younger. so, instead of learning a new sport or spending time making new friends or hanging out at a bar/dance-hall.. I will concentrate on strengthening the relationships I have right now.
If perchance a new person walks into my life right now however, I will not turn them away.

We'll break the routine when it becomes very bad. Or when the routine wants to break up with me.

This week, we'll concentrate on celebrating the ones we have in our lives right now. Grateful for each and every single click i get on my blog. And as I turn yet another year, I will celebrate each and everyone of you.
Readers from where ever you read from. I appreciate you very much.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for standing my Jumbled thoughts and keep coming back for more.

Much Love

Happy birthday to Me.. Happy new year to me.

Village Girl

Mumble Jumble

So I learnt a new word today.. Soliloquy

a noun defined as "an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers, especially by a character in a play."

Away from new words and all, I learnt something new last night (aren't we always?) Well, I learnt that parenting is not so much about the your account balance but rather how much heart balance you have.

Wait, before you tell me about the diapers and medical, school and all those other bills, hear me out.

Parenting weighs more on the soul than it does on the wallet. You know that moment when you hear about the loss of the neighbor's thirteen year old daughter. That moment when you go through a list of apparent lumpens who should have been the ones to die instead (forgive me) but I don't have kind words for That Guy who molested and murdered a 7 year old child and is still roaming the village neighborhood. Atti released on police bond!!!

So, Last night was one of those nights where I found myself huddled in a corner sobbing my heart out. For no particular reason but then again for every reason. This world can be cruel sometimes.

I am no expert on the whole Gaza, Hamas trauma but it seems so unfair for the innocent lives that are lost all in the name of Holy war. I mean what is holy about using Humans as shields!! Since this is so called Holy land, can't they fabricate those metallic shields that the likes of David, Goliath and all their cronies used during wars? Can't they just clear a field and sort it out once and for all... However, the Israeli army has my support on this. It's rather cool to be called by someone to warn you that your apartment is targeted by the 'enemy'. I don't know who is the enemy here. But yeah.

You are probably reading this (i.e. if you've gotten this far) and are thinking, why is this all jumbled up? My dear friend, my mind right now is running in over drive. Any parent (#eye-roll- off with the parenting now!)

But yes, any parent would be at wits' end when they have a brood full of un-well little ones. Picture this, you get home one evening, find one of them seriously ill and you deal with it. Morning comes around and all seems well. So, you set off for your daily money hunt and just as you are about to say yes to a dinner date, the phone rings... Caller ID- Housemate!!! Before you pick up the phone you think about all the things that could have gone wrong but pick up anyway, thinking to yourself that maybe they want to tell you about this exciting recipe they are trying out for dinner tonight.

Well, it's not a recipe but information about how they are taking Child No. Next to the hospital as it is not well!!!! YESSUH!!! sucks, right? Right. It does suck. Things are not made any easier with the fact that it is Mid-month.. (can i hear an amen?) and Mid Week and you have been taken more leaves of absence in the last fifteen days than anyone on your team... #sigh

Then a thought crosses my mind, all I have are un-well children. How about my neighbor who buried her child yesterday? Wouldn't she do anything just to hold her little one for another minute- ill or not. Rowdy or not? 

So, no, I will not complain. in my soliloquy this one (yes, I used that big word!) I will count my blessings. 

1. I am not in Gaza... I just live down the road.
2. I am alive and my ones are still alive. 

And whoever is out there going through one phase or another, take time off to count your blessings. Things could be worse than they are but they are not. You have what you have. Accept what you have, live through it and tell the story to another person. Your experience could save a life someday or encourage another to go through a similar situation.

Someone once told me that life is not long enough for us to learn from our experiences. Sometimes, we learn from other people's experience.

Let us all take a minute to appreciate our bosses who literally give us 'hell' at least you have something coming in for all that hell you are served. 

Appreciate your neighbor. The one upstairs who decides to pour soup water off their balcony at 11 p.m when you are sitting at yours prolly dreaming up fantasies with the full moon. At-least you don't live alone and if push came to shove, maybe that upstairs neighbor would give you a lift on a rainy day.

Appreciate that shop keeper who looks at you and decides you will not afford whatever items they have on display. Has anyone watched Pretty Woman? 

Remember the time Vivian (Julia) went shopping and the ladies literally shooed he? 

Well, walk to the next shop buy what you need and move on. Life is too short to come back and give them that "Big Mistake" notice.

And on and on.. point i am trying to make here is, Appreciate what you have in life. Where you are right now and Who you are. There can never be another you, there will never be another today and there will never be another terrible relationship like the one you are in right now (for all my sisters/brothers who complain about their spouses).. What you have now is what you have. Make the best of it.

Finally, Ella asked me a question about how a girl would have multiple sexual partners. I know, it is still a risky topic that usually ends with the girl being called all names my great grand father would shy away from but I will try to answer it someday. One of these days, I will.

Truly,

:)

Village Girl

I have loved the stars too fondly…

 

Though my soul may set in darkness,

it will rise in perfect light.

I have loved the stars too fondly

to be fearful of the night. –Sarah Williams

Words are our most important discovery. Forget about fire, forget about all the places we’ve been to, and all the places we’ll reach. Words allow us to see farther than any telescope. And, at the same time, words allow us to see inside each and everyone of us, to see every lever and gauge and all the other tiny elements that make us work. So it’s also a microscope.

Sometimes you read something a stranger wrote on a lonely night and you feel less lonely. You feel like you somehow know them, and your only regret in the world is that you haven’t read their words sooner. It doesn't matter that it’s late and you’re tired, it doesn't matter that tomorrow the words will still be there.

Sometimes you read something that’s so good that you want to absorb it all, you want for those words to become you, to express  who you are. Words written by a stranger, describing who you are to a billion other strangers.

And sometimes words are just beautiful. They sing to us in ways that no song ever could, in ways that turn the ordinary into extraordinary.

We didn't invent words. No. The words invented us. They invented this world, and kindly allowed us to create a million more inside our head or on paper. And we use so many words, at strange hours of the night, that sometimes we feel trapped by them. We feel lonely and scared, and we feel as if words can’t really express who we are. That, somehow, all we are doing is diminishing our experiences and feelings by writing them down or saying them out loud.

It’s easy to feel this way, especially if you've been writing for some time. To feel that we haven’t yet discovered the words that could accurately describe the fire that burns inside us.

And what do we do?

We use words to create the future. We use them to write about who we always dreamed of becoming but never had the courage to become, we use them to write about who we’d want to be, who we think we are. We use them to describe a world that was never meant to exist.

We travel this world with our pockets filled with dreams, and we can only make come true a few of them. The rest we write into existence hoping that someone else might want to make them come true…

We live on through our words.... We aim for the stars..our souls float in realms only imagined.

Village Girl

Not Made for Comfort-Typical Wena style

So, here I was blushing and feeling all great and nice because he told me "You were made for comfort,"
Its not wrong. He was not wrong. That is what I am to him. His comfort.

Been called a  'Guardian angel' (aaaaawwwwww.. cute right?) :) :D
) Yes, am all that above and more.
Problem is, all the above does not change the fact that much as I love giving, am seeking a giver.

Just the other day, it hit me after the lights had gone out. And I was in my bed alone, cold and sad. And Alone.
That night, none of my charity runs made sense... all the smiles I'd helped put on so many people's faces earlier that day, and etc. None of them could hold me and tell me all was going to be OK.

None of them was telling me that My Son was just teething and the stomach irritation would pass soon.
I needed someone to address my House Searching issue. That statement "You were made for comfort" did nothing to help. Instead it made think about why I was only remembered when Comfort was needed.

.... (April 27, 2014)


 Months later, (July 8, 2014) on a sleepless 3 a.m stretch I find myself attempting to complete this draft. Why am I wake at this time? Well, because my Tummy is complaining about feeding it roadside chicken. Yes I did. This love for being different will send me places unimaginable. Earlier on (or was it yesterday evening?) my colleague/walk-mate decided to "house us" roadside chicken. It had been a long day and it felt nice trying out the chicken as opposed to the usual popcorn and sumbusa. No, I didn't consume the contents until I got home and had washed my hands.
 Now, its past 3 a.m and my stomach is not very happy with me. I am so sorry stomach...please go back to sleep.
 I am not made for comfort.

 Why on earth would someone think of another like they think.of say their bed (i'd love to assume beds are the most comfortable places in our homes)? But why? Someone please help me understand why the very deliverer of that statement never stayed longer than forever. Did something about my comfort giving trait change? In fact they didn't stay round long enough for me to understand why they thought I was made for comfort. And now, I will never know.
 Another thing that made me scratch at my weave yesterday was the need for someone to hate (strong word, right?) Someone to hate another without really knowing who they are. Reason for the hate, they belonged to a particular community. Stereotyping (not sure what this word really means but it sounds right) is not fair.

Just not fair. So I am a woman...and you, dear gentleman- the current object of my desire- decide to treat me with caution just because my predecessor broke your heart or took off with your earthly possessions. Dude! The only thing I.have in common with her is we have the same physical anatomy and even that may not be true...I.could be your real comfort, your ticket to forever but then again,.you will never know that since i will not sit around and try to convince you that all women are not the same. No sir. The world needs my uniqueness- so imma bounce.
I am not apologetic for my existence. If you had met me 8 years ago...then I would have been. However, a few things changed and now I love the me that I am.

And before i attempt one more hour of sleep, I have this need to send a simple shout out to a coupla acquaintances.

 Dear You,
It is a bit hard to conquer/subdue a loud spirit. She says yes to you but does not really want to say yes. She would want to say no almost all the time. See, this girl likes you but you like very many other girls. Is it hard for you to say you like her too? Do you ever notice how green eyed she gets when you are flirting with her best friend? Do you even care? She is not as strong as that other girl you sometimes hang out with...and all she wants you to do is acknowledge her as your woman. I mean, you have your toothbrush and change of underwear at her house. Tell your friends about her already. If you won't, then stop wasting her heart. ...................................

 Now...you Young girl who is not so young. It is just wrong to be a hypocrite. Stop with the hypocrisy already. See, I see through your act and either i am a bigger hypocrite than you are or I simply don't care much about your things. However, kindly note that these cat and mouse games hurt you more than they do me. I am not made for comfort.

 Good morning,
Village Girl (Wena).

Dancing competitions, Saxfaction and great company

The evening of July 3, 2014 is one  I will not forget anytime soon.

I stood up in a crowd and danced to Ssemusajja it was actually laughable. The whole experience was laughable. Wait, i am working on something serious at an internet cafe, needed to send it yesterday at 6p.m but my phone blacked out at such an inconvenient time, had left my charger at my place of work and I was also in an environment where no one had a charger to lend or even an open socket where I would charge if I had somehow managed to find a charger.

Times like these make me miss my laptop. One of these days, I should close my eyes and just replace the damn thing. I need it more now than I ever needed it before. I wish this money knew just how much I need it. Maybe then it would avail itself with ease.

So, I was telling you about last night. The Sound Cup - honestly, I've been to Tutti Frutti before (the ice-cream is cheaper at the Fruitti place as opposed to The Sound Cup) naye I had never ventured to Maurice Kirya's place. Until last night. Last night was my maiden visit to The Place.

Months ago, i stumbled upon a radio station that was playing a jazz rendition of a folk song. It is a marvelous re-do. The dance inducing drums at the end of the piece send me to heaven and back every time i listen to this Ssemusajja track. Even my 20 month old son now identifies it to dancing time.

There are other songs on this 12 track album. My other favorites are Kampala and Groovers' anthem. Beautiful music I must say.

What started out as a joke got serious, when the people I had invited called me earlier on in the day asking me what time i would be at the venue. Then was not the time to back out. (Lord knows how much of a quitter I am). Much as there was a terror attack alert circulating, I dared to go out and have fun. And i am glad I did. Came home with an autographed CD-.. Michael Kitanda is going places this guy.

Another guy that was at this event last night was Charmant (its pronounced differently with throat sounds-but I can only speak my language). This guy is good. Check out his African Love Project. He does extremely well with his Guitar. My Date last night tried explaining to me the difference between all these guitars- bass guitars, acoustic, electric and am not sure I remember the others. But I remember my date. They were exceptional company. Thank you very much Sir. However Mr. Mushaga is good. Listen to this one with Myko Ouma it is nice.

Wait, all i am saying or trying to say is support African Talent. These guys have lots of potential.

The problem with internet cafes though, is that time somehow runs fast. I have reloaded and reloaded and now am so hungry. A mixture of hangover and real hunger- That story for being hangover is not one I would like to tell right now. But yes, I am hangover. 3 minutes and I gotta run. When I figure out how to re-enable the phone keyboard-my phone is writing Chinese things and i am not sure i want to figure out how to change it right now. Short of just re-setting the damn thing to factory settings- I am at wits' end.


Enjoy these guys' music.


Village Girl.

Special needs, journeys and lots more (..continued)

Little boy of three, 

with cares so free,

aiming for a life up in the tree,

Because I was born to be free.

Young Man of Fifteen,

Not as active as other teens,

See, my voice is locked up in a tin,

I am a child with a Special Need,

Autism is not a disease,

I live inside my mind with ease,

But y'all look at me with unease,

I was not bewitched, I am a Special Person.

Accept me as I am, I have accepted myself.
(c) Okunga July2014

..................................

We continue our Journey to DXB (the free Arab destination). Our boarding call finally came through and  by then I had been feasted on by all manner of mosquitoes, cold and hunger so I was so ready to move. Tried buying a chocolate bar, but I couldn't. The Uganda Shillings I had on me were not enough to be changed to Kenyan currency and oh no, I didn't wanna touch the USD I had on me. There was a long shopping list attached to that currency.

In the wake of terrorist attacks, I was wary of four guys all dressed in Moslem garb and rapping on in Arabic who were walking ahead of me. I have repented and repented some more for the feelings and all the things I thought about these guys. After take off, I wondered if my remains would ever make it to the burial spot next to my Dad's grave site. 

So, we are seated, and the flight captain has welcomed us aboard- Dude had a voice. I have lost counts of the times I have imagined him singing me a lullaby on many a sleepless night (my sleepless nights are very frequent by the way)

The meals were so cartoon, believe me when I say I was hungry. I had last eaten Katogo at 10 a.m!! And now here I was being served tiny things like as if I had written somewhere that I was dieting. Well, I ate everything I was served. 

Then I slept. A great dreamless sleep. Funny, with all the earlier worries about an impending terrorist attack, I didnt dream about anything. I guess flying close to the proverbial heavens had something to do with the no dreams.

Hours later I awoke to a loud announcement calling for us to fasten our seats. Then the Captain's voice came through. That wonderful voice. (enough about the man's voice- i don't even remember his name!)

walking

At that DXB airport, eh!!! Entebbe airport is like a toy house! Man we walked and walked and kept walking with no sign of getting anywhere. Until we got to the immigration desks or whatever they call them.
And this guy asks me to open my eyes for his camera. In my mind am like, 

"Swahba, I just woke up from a 3 hour sleep which 20 minutes of walking had done nothing to clear. It is 4:00 a.m for crying out loud, and you want me to open my eyes!!!"

He eventually figured out that I was not capable of opening my eyes any wider so, he stamped in my small book, took whatever picture he could and waved me on. There I was with my bags, and not sure what to do next. Could not call or text, my phone battery had died and now I was at the mercy of those other powers.

Excuse my malo!! naye Touch to flush? 

In my mind, since I was already delayed. I was sure the person supposed to pick me up had already given up and gone back or found another person to pick and drop off. So I decided to take a trip to the bathrooms!! I swear, I did malo in the bathrooms. Alright, I know a coupla friends who will say I should have swallowed and not even taken a picture of the Flush sign, naye nedda. Me it passed on me. (sic)

"who does that? who takes pictures of toilet flush signs?" Well, I do. and I did.

Walked out to the waiting area and you will never believe it. Someone was standing there holding a placard with my name on it!! Hallelujah of Hallelujah-est!! Did a small dance!! Phew!!! Now, i could happily welcome myself to Dubai. The city of lights.

Meanwhile, this is already Day two of my trip. After that, not much happened. Took a few pictures in the course of my stay..wait, Did I tell you about the sun in that place?

Eeeish!!! the hottest day in Kampala is not hot at all. It is hot and humid in that place (duh!!- it is a desert!!) Yessuh, I am just  a village girl. Excuse my ineptness.

My 3 day stay is shared below.

Yes, I stayed at Jaber Ali Resorts- wali ku Marina

My Room

View of the Marina from my room

 That whole day, I was busy flipping through TV stations until I landed on #breakingnewsalert. Watched the #Kenya #westgatesiege as it happened. At first, I thought it was a different Kenya these Arab TVs were reporting about. Because, my Facebook News-feed had no report of it whatsoever. Called home (i have a sister who lives in Nairobi) and they had not yet heard. 3 minutes later, Facebook started reporting.
Whatever happened to that Mary who was caught in that mall and kept updating her status all day... I hope she made it.
Within those three minutes, i prayed, cried and prayed some more. Hoped it was maybe a sick movie scene being acted out somewhere.
My sister was safe- she was home mothering my little ones (yes, she'd left a day earlier to celebrate her nephew's first birthday)
It was a shortlived celebration though as the gruesome images rolling off the TV screen got messier and messier. My three day stay was spent glued to the TV (the evenings and early mornings, since I was working 8a.m to 3p.m).

My last night however, I managed to step out a bit. Went to the Dubai Mall and very many other places. Nanti, i had shopping to do- which I failed to do anyway. Caught the Dancing fountain- My ka phone is low resolution but yeah, hihihihi, i did those malo things of capturing a video.

And many other pictures. Tried out the KFC, and was given very weird looking chicken- it's no wonder I have not asked anyone to take me to KFC -Uganda yet.

All in all, Dubai is a beautiful City. But I love home. I am in love with my Kampala with all the noise and things that make it Kampala. Things that make it home.

Day 4 saw me pick up my bags and head back to DXB Intl Airport.
Like most before me, I went through the Duty Free Shop.

 And then it was time to come home.

Thank you for travelling with me.
Until next time,
lots of love,
Village Girl

..of month ends, trips, music and rants (Part 1)

Time Check? Way past official working hours.

The office room is deserted, everyone has gone home save for me. One would think I don't have a home to go. When In fact I do have more than enough reason to leave this place and rush home. See, (if you do not know) I have many children who have very many stories but seem to limit their vocabulary to just "Mummy?" when I am in the same building with them.

Someone calls out "Mummy?" and calls again and again. No matter how sweetly, rudely or whatever-ly you respond, they just keep calling. Don't get me wrong, I love being called Mummy, even when am in the bath and have soap all over my body and someone is screaming for Mummy at the bathroom door. Or when I just took my place at the toilet seat............ (you get the picture, right?)

So, I am in the office- Alone. Save for a couple of young men blasting away through my phone headset. There is this Song that I used to love and I think I still do love. Been playing it on repeat for a while this afternoon.

Takes me back to September last year (2013). 

Let me take you to shortly before September, My Boss then decides she wanted me to join her in Dubai for 3 days! In my mind I was like,... "........" Yes. My thinking pad went blank for a minute. A whole sixty seconds. So, I told a few people around me and they got excited enough for me. Relatives got writing shopping lists, friends- well friends cheered me on. So, i started thinking- "Now, three days with my boss...eh!"

So, Yes was not mine to say. It had been decided. 

Missed my piece of cake

Travel Documents processed, suits borrowed, Hair redone- Dude!!! and I was pronounced ready to go to outside Countries and Make 'em proud! :)

It was a five day Journey which by the way saw me miss my Little Boy Cut his first Birthday Cake. 

Day 1: 

I left home in a commuter taxi (am not one to show off) was slated to have breakfast with a very good

Yes, that is a weave. (Facepalm)

friend then at 10 a.m  (Gundi Waddawa?- We should do a katogo for old times' sake one of these days).
Was in my everyday faded jeans and little tee-shirt. To me it was a normal thing- I mean like going to the next town or something. But when I got to town and rested my little travel bag at a friend's shop- she went up in arms as to how I was dressed as compared to where I was heading. (eyeroll? yessuh!)

She bought me a dress!!! and forced me to put it on there and then! So, by the time I met my friend, I had on this un-ironed dress but Friend is a nice person, they didnt mention the state of my dress- well not that day.

Katogo done away with- Time check? 11 a.m. Flight is scheduled for 3p.m. So, that leaves me 3 hours to get to Entebbe airport, check in and etc. I sit in a matatu and it starts raining!!! Time check, 11:45 a.m and we have not set off yet. Well, we did set off a little after 12p.m. By the time we got to Kitooro it was raining!!! Now, there was no airport taxi in sight!! I did a Boda to the Airport!!! YESSUH. BODA BODA with my suitcase!!! 

Got to the the airport a few minutes after 2p.m. Should have checked in by 2pm but i was getting there after 2pm. In my mind i was like.. "My boss is killing me, and imma refund all the money she's spent on me this far"

But Luck was on my side. Trust African Airlines to be late. Our flight was delayed by two hours!!! Yay!! Me. I did the forex things, checked in and sat back to listen to the mixtape my friend had given me. Back to Basics 5 Mixtape. Had on it the likes of Lil Vicious (remember that kid?)  and others. 5p.m and we were called to board. 

The Plane reminded me of those taxis that go to Nsambya Hospital!! Ayi!! If you've been to Nsambya hospital using a Taxi from the Old Taxi Park, you know what I am talking about. Those things can induce a woman whos labor contractions have stopped faster than any drug the mzungu has ever come up with.

Next stop: Jomo Kenyatta International Airport-NBO. Since we had delayed by 2 hours, the flight to DXB had also been pushed two hours ahead. Here, My laptop battery was flat. My phone battery died too, but not before I managed a few texts to Boss, Family and Friend (I think Friend missed out on the NBO txt)

Well, I had thoughts like, What if I never return? What if we crash? What if my luggage disappears? What if, What if and more what ifs?

Tomorrow, please board with me that Kenya Airways Plane. Fly with me for 4 hours and let's stop at the  Dubai International Airport Terminal 1. 

For now though, gotta get home to my little people. One was asking me the other day to get her a new Daddy! She is not too amused by the fact that for a while now, her own Daddy makes promises he never keeps. "Will pick you up for Ice cream on Friday" promises that have refused to mature. 

Oh! The month ended yesterday (duh!! It's July 1st) and payslips were presented. Had the misfortune of peeping at someone's payslip! How on earth does an employer deduct someone's salary just because they lost a very close relative? Whatever happened to leaves of Compassion? So, if an employee is still on probation, do they cease to be human? Are they excused from things like falling ill, losing a loved one, and all the rest? 

That rant against that other boss might take me another hour, because I am so unhappy right now, I wish I would change a few things about certain things. If I could, I would, but I can't. 

I can only rant!!

Tomorrow, we'll board that plane.

till then,