The Power Of Assumption

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

The assumption battle is one I have fought most of my life. I've questioned friends' motives, assuming they were against me. To avoid being hurt, I've detached from relationships with no valid reasons.

Perhaps you've fought the same battle?

Your friend didn't respond your text with the hype that she usually; she must be upset with you, so you stopped texting or calling her. Another friend is invited to several parties you aren't; obviously the two of you are drifting apart, so you don't reach out any more. Your sister hasn't responded to your text and phone messages; she must have found another friend in whom to confide, so you stop calling her. Your Lover has not responded to a whatsapp message yet their 'last seen' is more recent than the last message you sent him/her- S/He must be getting chatty and therefore cozy with another person, so you break up with them.

It's easy to assume others are upset, have "more important" friends, or are too busy for us when their behavior changes. Anger and hurt can well up in our hearts and we may pull away from friendships in order to protect ourselves. There is a danger in assumptions: they can destroy relationships.

Before we know it, even without proof, what we assume becomes our truth. Our misguided feelings lead to misguided thoughts, which cause misguided responses. The result: ruined relationships.

Living under the havoc of assumptions isn't the way God intended it though. 

Second Timothy 1:7 tells us, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (NKJV). 

Looking at the last part of this verse, we see God gives us the ability to think, reason, and understand.

Through Christ, we have a mind that is well balanced and considers things in context. Our sound mind is stronger than our feelings, but we have to give our thoughts time to catch up with our emotions. A good way to do this is to pause and think clearly about the conclusions we've made.

PAUSE AND THINK CLEARLY ABOUT THE CONCLUSIONS WE'VE MADE

When an assumption rears its ugly head, simply take a moment to ask if this assumption is consistent with your friend's normal behavior.

If it isn't, this would be a good time to ask a few more questions: 

Is my friend okay?

 Have I done anything to hurt her? 

How can I pray for her? 

Do I believe the best before assuming the worst?

Can I help them through it? 

Do they need me? How do they need me?

Repeat the pause until the assumption passes. The result: positive relationships.

Ruined relationships can be prevented and assumptions can be put to rest when we stop and focus on our thoughts. God has blessed us with a sound mind to surrender to the truth and not allow our imaginations to run wild.

Before the power of assumptions ruins a relationship in your life, pause. Settle your emotions and consider what you know to be true about your friend. 

Take a moment to pray for her and plan how to reach out to her. She might just be struggling with her own assumptions that you could help her clear up!

Dear Lord, thank You for empowering me to overpower assumptions. I commit to believe the best before assuming the worst, and to not allow my emotions to jump to conclusions. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Happy Holidays Everybody 

Imagine that!

For Real? 

I went to bed last night and woke up this morning with all plans of having a productively productive day. I mean I worked through the first ten pages of my proposed funding proposal (in my bed and in my head of course)... IKR. (very productive me)
Now this morning i unfortunately bumped into my neighbor. (giggles)
She had this for me. Mbu...there was a football match last night and her twitter timeline was ....(failed to rephrase her statement. The raw statement is too rough for my fragile eyes)
Mbu.. the Red Boys were so on form her red people wished they would replay last night's match all the way to kingdom come. Aha! These things.
Then also mbu the other gal/woman came crying to her atti The Other Guy had broken her heart! And am like, for real! For real real?
She: But also you, what did she expect from that one? Hmmm! Can you imagine he does that for  living, I mean break hearts. It's second nature to him. I heard also that he has like oba how many other girls pinning for him.

Me: Yiyi? But how do you know that?

She: eh eh! Don't you know, even me he tried ko and I was like not me. H.h.h.h.h.e.e.e.e.l.l.l NO. Me, like a whole me? with that guy! Sha! Hell would freeze over first

Me: (giggles)- See my friend has been listening to Kelly's Down on Love for what seems like forever. But then again.. hihihihihihihihi.. aha!

So, we parted ways both of doing a Harlem Shake. Kwegamba, Fucktard just!!!

Kati, on my way to office, I bump into the lady who used to do our laundry way back. And she's like, "Eh Mama Baby, where have you been?" Can you imagine I've been looking for you for a long time now. I have a big story for you. Did you hear? That Dr. Kizza Besigye's eyes do not both close?
You girl!!!

Praying for the Soul of the Late SK Njuba

For her, she saw the guy with her own two eyes when his one eye had refused to close!!

That also there is this crop of people who be wanting to have side dishes without taking responsibilities for their actions.

Now, I had to really run from this one. I was not about to listen to the same story from a different person. Was she talking about the same guy? I don't know. At that point, I was having trouble remembering the opening line of my 10 page funding proposal. For Christ's sakes, I had 10 pages all edited and ready for print-in my head at about 0100 hrs this morning.

However, those two meetings marked the end of my productivity... So, we'll be listening to The Weeknd . This guy makes blood flow to my hair!! Damn! I should have a puff ya Laugh out Loud by the end of today.

Till we meet again... I have a sensible proposal to write. We need to shine some sun on Mauryn's because it  Rained on her.

Mo Itchy Lips

And then it rained

 Walking along Kampala road last night blew my heart to smithereens. What started out as a simple walk to the Taxi park with a friend who by the way I bullied into walking with me, turned into a personal trip to a place I have not been to in a while.

I've been riding on a high lately... high on adrenaline. Last night, my bubble went KABOOM! just like that. These are images of children, children who at 8p.m should be in bed, all warm and fed. Does not really matter if they are well fed or not. As long as they are not hungry! It is a human right.

Where are we going?

I know giving these children money keeps them on the streets, but then again its not their fault. Whichever devil put them there really cocked his gun well. And he has aim. This son of a B****h has aim. I usually buy them food stuff, if i passed by them during the day. But it was way after 8 p.m and these lovely babies were out in the cold. Scantily dressed, and it started drizzling!

I was shocked when I saw a 'team leader' actually cane one of the lovelies. I wondered why? I was at a distance from this horrifying spectacle and my Friend was getting impatient but it was one of the saddest scenes I have seen recently. It was sad.

I can't stop thinking of ways I could help these children. I love them with all I could and can give. I wish I could give them and they actually benefit from my giving. I pray Dear Lord for these children.

I won't ask why. Dwelling on the why is not a solution.

My own little ones were in the meantime warmly ensconced in my bed (they get treated when am not home on time to tuck them into their little beds)
It broke my heart some more. Then it rained.

THEN IT RAINED. My eyes can't seem to dry up. I don't know any more if am crying because of the Babies I could not take home with me last night, or if it is the fact that I rejected a nice young handsome man  because I was angry at his recent disappearance or if it has indeed been a long 31 years!

I'm not sure anymore. But it sure feels like it has been a long long life. Irony of it is I prayed to God this morning to allow me watch my one year old say his I DO to the love of his life.

Dear God, I thank you for the humbling experiences you place in my path, whenever I seem to waver from your way. 

I have a lot to be grateful for. I know I do. A hot meal at the end of the day and little hugs and smiles that just keep me going.

And my prayer right now, is I stop focusing on 'I' and instead focus on 'THEM'.

Them will be defined by you. However, someone lend me an umbrella or better still send me some sun.. because it is still raining at mine.

Listening to Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart and Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball on repeat. I know, am phasing, going through a session of beating myself up over a misinformed choice. Maybe not entirely misinformed but overzealous move. I went in well aware of the consequences and now am paying. Thought I was strong enough to live and leave unscathed.. but am leaving with lots of pain and aches in places untouchable.

"Don't you ever say, I just walked away, I will always want you"

Yes, It is raining.

Of Double losses and Sero Status

For years,  I had kept my love for a one Arsenal FC in the closet.. Gave myself all titles but Arsenal Supporter.... until the day they suffered a defeat!!! Dayumm!!! The guys were thrashed!!! (words of my boda guy)
Huh!, I had to come out and tell him munange, I support Arsenal... Which earned me a free ride. He was so sympathetic he refused my money- (facepalm)

Naye banange, 6 goals!! felt like losing two matches in one. And then I hear mbu they next week they are meeting Chelsea.. Ours are not good. I mean ours of Arsenal are not looking very pretty.

So, Munange, the other day I was heading home nga I bump into

This UHMG Mobile HIV Counselling and Testing Van 

So I walked in. Not because I really wanted to know what my sero status was, (I mean there is no divine infection) but just because I wanted to really see the inside of this van. And Basically be a statistic.
But as I was leaving (after being handed my slip) a pretty young boy with whom I'd had my blood drawn was pulled back. The Counselors asked him to step aside and didn't hand him his slip. ;(

That got my mind racing. He looked way to young to be HIV positive.. From first glance he'd not hit 25 years. I know, they coulda called him back because his results was not valid- you know those test kits know how to do bloopers also. But, me and my lugambo, I could not stop thinking that the poor soul was HIV Positive. Banange, that would be a shame. Being handed a death sentence like that before you even get ko a baby! Eh! Kitalo.

Naye nga eby'olungambo biwedewo, let's make it a habit to get tested. Especially if you are on a sexual network. Well, you might not know that you are on a sexual network, but as long as you have had intimate relations that involved parts of your bodies getting entwined- please go test. Test for everything-
Its pretty human and these days its considered normal for one to have more than one Sexual partner.
Well, personally, you might be doing it with just that one person but they are doing it with 3 or maybe 4 "carefully chosen" other partners.
Stay Safe! Africa needs another great Icon.

ION, mbu there is this little child that thinks they are great because they can spew forth vulgarities faster than they can spell their name. It was an unfortunate case that they chose to make me the object of their idling.. Well, for one, I do not engage in fights of any sort. (That was so 2012)!!! And then this small minded human (excuses of a human) deem it profitable to sit wherever and brag about how they 'assured' and abused a certain character.

Little Child of this universe, your insults will not hike the price of sugar, neither will it change the number of breaths per minute per person.. Wait, Did you actually think you were changing time? O.M! Gosh!! Stupid little child. (I use the word STUPID with measure)

Alright, so its a Monday Morning, and I worry about Arsenal FC. I worry that this was false labor... there is a two point difference btn AFC and the next guy on the table has an easy next fixture... For Chrissakes Liverpool is winning their next match- and the next team we meet is a definite no win.

Cheers...

Listening to Wrecking Ball .

It will be on repeat for a while- of that am sure-

PS: What is the plural of "Status"? (Comment with your answer/suggestion)

I heard, That you heard that They said

Like for Real?

So, its been a few weeks of weird revelations in my life. New friends made (ok, acquaintances) Some people lost (some died and some passed away from the list of acquaintances) and hey, who knew!! I went to Club!! Oh yes I did.

Away from that, I got baptized- Oh yes I did. I so did.
Its the ninth day of December, and the year is 2013- everyone is excited about the impending holidays- oh how we love Christmas. Holiday makers all over town, new rides on the roads- which come with new road accidents!! #sigh
And on and on. But wait, did you hear that Arsenal FC is leading the Premier league table? Like for real? Many years of losses, I had given up on supporting any football team- local or international. And now, Arsenal is leading the league!! OM Gosh!
And Manchester United is somewhere in some position that is so obscure its painful. And am like OMG! how can they do that? 13 points shy of table leaders? eh!

In other News, Uganda Cranes lost out at CECAFA. 13 time champions? Got me wondering if Baba Lauryn and  Micho whose Career according to Wikipedia ended in 1994 are kind of related.

Eh, did you hear? There has been this interesting Music show.. Tusker Project Thingie that got everyone in my house hold carried away. My own daughter told me i couldn't sing! when i attempted to sing along to the sound track.. But then again, Every body knows my name.... ooh na am soopersta. So, yeah, it too ended. A handsome guy who reminds of Henry Thierry and Usher Raymond Combined won the competition. And our very own Ugandan Church Girl Daisy was placed at position 3. Ok, not bad. She should go back to church.

So, here is the thing. I was told I can not keep quiet. Mbu I talk a lot. So I intend to do my talking here at least twice a week. If you find the patience to read through to this line, kindly respond to the poll somewhere on this page and tell me, if i should on doing my itchy lips here oba mbileke.

Until I find something else to rumble about, see you Friday. Yes Friday the 13, 2013. Hihihihihih.

SOS- Its a Block. I am Blocked

 My internal red light has been blinking at me for a while and I found excuses for it. Right now, its on- permanently. And it hit me, that I need to seek help.
I am blocked. Aaah, I even read about this whole Writer's block phenomenon.

Writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand.

Source: Wikipedia

I have created many drafts since November 25 2013 but never got round to publishing any of them. I promised a friend an article that would have ended up in one of the dailies... The Weekend edition of a leading local Daily. And I meant well. I identified my topic, and did some research, but never got round to even starting that piece.. Oh My Freaking Goodness!

Now, here and now, right now, this very minute(#eyeroll- We get it), right this very moment, I will overcome this blockage.
Gotta overcome it. Been giving myself all sorts of excuses- Oh, am too busy; or, My bundle will get finished and I could miss an "important" Whats-app message, and on and on.

Well,  I went through a phase back there. I lost someone very close to me, and I didn't have the chance to mourn them or say goodbye to them properly. I felt like a failure. and oh yeah, I lost two friendships- hmm!

Before that, I was too busy making friends with a certain someone who was intent on conquering Mauryn-
didn't know I was that important a force.

Am not promising because promises are broken every minute. But I will try my very best to write that piece for my Newspaper friend. And Aino, yes, I will earn that 20shs a word. I will earn it, need an extra check this holiday.

Let me tap Publish before another draft gets saved. Typos and all. The next piece will be better.

Phew!! Next amma read through the "how to work through and over come this Writer's Block thing" I need to find me again. I need to live again, Fall in love with print again.

I need to. I have to.
Catch you later.

Mauryn